“There be three things which are too wonderful for me, yea, four which I know not: The way of an eagle in the air; the way of a serpent upon a rock; the way of a ship in the midst of the sea; and the way of a man with a maid.” — Proverbs 30:18–19 (KJV)
It’s that last phrase I want to explore – “the way of a man with a maid.”
The mysteries of attraction and affection are difficult to explain. Romance is as elusive as the fragrance of gardenias on a spring morning. You recognize the aroma, but can you explain its wonder? Such mysteries seem destined to elude us.
But believe it or not, there is an even greater romantic mystery: the love of Christ for an unlikely bride.
I call her an unlikely bride because, after twenty years of working to heal hurting churches, I still find it astounding that Christ loves His Church as He does. Her wounds, failures, imperfections, and indiscretions have not diminished His steadfast love. Even when that love goes unappreciated or unanswered, He remains faithful.
Like the prophet Hosea, who pursued his unfaithful wife and sought to bring her back, the Lord remains committed to His people. Sometimes I wonder what He sees in His bride. Really, how do we explain His unwavering affection for a Church that can be so fickle in its devotion?
I must be careful not to be too judgmental. There have been times when I have looked at a church and wondered what the Lord could possibly see in her. But whenever I have taken exception to His choice of a bride, He reminds me that I, too, am part of the Church He loves. If not for His extraordinary grace and enduring love for an unlikely bride, I would have no business writing this article. I am as unlikely a candidate for His affection as the Church herself!
Yet Christ’s steadfast love does not mean He stands idly by while His bride drifts in and out of faithfulness. He does not confuse love with indifference. Jesus had some pointed words for churches whose affection for Him had grown cold, whose devotion had faltered, or whose spiritual passion had all but disappeared.
Consider His words to four churches in the book of Revelation:
- To the church at Ephesus, whose first love had faded: “But I have this against you, that you have left your first love.” (Revelation 2:4, NASB).
- To the church at Laodicea, whose spiritual temperature had grown lukewarm: “Those whom I love, I rebuke and discipline; therefore be zealous and repent.” (Revelation 3:19, NASB).
- To the church at Thyatira, whose love was evident in its service and perseverance: “I know your deeds, and your love and faith, and service and perseverance,” (Revelation 2:19, NASB).
- To the church at Philadelphia, whom He assured of His affection: “I will make them . . . know that I have loved you.” (Revelation 3:9, NASB).
Each message reveals something important about the heart of Christ. He recognizes genuine love and faithfulness, but He also confronts spiritual complacency and unfaithfulness. Three of these four churches received explicit calls to repent. Christ does not respond to an unfaithful bride as a jilted lover who simply walks away. He confronts, corrects, and calls His people back to Himself.
That is the wonder of His love: He loves His Church too much to leave her unchanged.
We must acknowledge an uncomfortable truth: a church’s love for the Lord can change over time. The passion that once defined her worship can cool. The faith that once shaped her decisions can give way to comfort. The mission that once stirred her heart can become little more than routine. A church may continue its activities, maintain its programs, and preserve its reputation while quietly drifting from the One she exists to love.
There is another detail in these letters that we dare not overlook. Jesus knew what was in the hearts of these churches. Their own assessment of their spiritual condition may have differed considerably from His, as it did in the Laodicean congregation (See Rev. 3:17). A congregation might have considered itself faithful, healthy, and devoted, yet Christ saw what they could not—or would not—see.
The bride’s opinion of her own heart is not necessarily the Bridegroom’s assessment.
And that raises some important questions for those of us who lead churches.
How about your church? Is she becoming an increasingly unlikely bride, or is she growing more beautiful in the eyes of her Bridegroom?
Are there wounds, compromises, or stains in your church’s history that have affected her collective love for the Lord? Have disappointments hardened her heart? Has busyness displaced intimacy? Has the pursuit of ministry success overshadowed the pursuit of Christ Himself?
Perhaps the most revealing question is this: What would the Lord’s assessment of your church’s love for Him be?
What might He say?
Paul reminds us that Christ gave Himself for the Church “That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish” (Ephesians 5:27, KJV).
What a remarkable picture! Christ does not abandon His bride because she is imperfect. He gave Himself for her, and He is committed to making her holy and beautiful. His love is not blind to her blemishes; it is the very reason He works to cleanse and restore her.
And so, while I hesitate to meddle in the affairs of two lovers, allow me to ask one final question:
Is your church ready for the wedding?
Not simply ready to hold services, launch ministries, attract attenders, or celebrate another year of accomplishments. Is she ready to meet her Bridegroom? Is her heart tender toward Him? Is her love growing deeper? Is her devotion becoming more faithful? Is she allowing Him to heal her wounds, confront her compromises, and make her holy?
The Bridegroom has not abandoned His unlikely bride. The question is whether your church is becoming the bride He longs for her to be.
Rev. Mark Barnard serves as President of Blessing Point Ministries. Blessing Point works to heal hurting churches and restore the radiance of Christ’s bride. Mark is the coauthor of The Eighth Letter: Exploring Jesus’ Letters to the Seven Churches and Discovering What He is Saying to Yours. To learn more, visit: blessingpoint,.org.